did I do that?

July 17, 2017











There's not a day that goes by that I don't ask myself am I being the best person I can be right now? Did I hurt someone's feelings today? Did I make the ethical right decision? Or, was that a genuine response? And yes, some (or all) of this seems like a stroll away from paranoia. My friend and I have even blamed it being a Libra thing. We constantly find ourselves discussing the endless cycle of self-retrospection, of unreturned efforts, or oppsies and fuckkkkk, did I do that? Gag. Is that an exclusively millennial thing? Oh, god, here goes the paranoia again.

But think about it, how much of an impact do we make in our everyday life? How much impact do I make in my everyday life? Especially when I am living in one of the largest cities in the world. So large, we’re forced to live on top of each other. Sometimes, I’d just much rather text you than click the green button on your phone call. It’s not personal but I’m really enjoying a solo walk home and I’m lowkey stalking an elderly couple walking down the street together (kills me every time). At events, I walk in and immediately see at least eight people that I’d love to have deep conversations with but that’s impossible, especially when there’s an open bar involved. So then I’m rude to like 6 people out of the 8. While I’m eating, I may or may not be singing a song and dancing to my own tummy tune while you’re talking.  I also have an uncanny act for saying goodbye but taking so long to leave the actual space that we end up walking out together. Or worse, standing in the elevator for 25 floors together. And then saying bye again. Awk. And I make a lot of people uncomfortable. It’s a gift, truly. Also, did I text my mom back today? (She’s going to text me shortly after I post this.) If that isn’t enough, we have the Internet. Where impact extends beyond our spatial limitations. A comment or even a heart can go a long way. It is one emoji or LOL away from bullying or a smile. So is it crazy for me to be concerned with giving the right and most positive impact at all times?

It must be really liberating for people that don't think like that. To not care. To do things without an ounce of empathy for others. It's just you. I envy those people but I also enjoy being person that I am. It comes at a cost but most great things do.


Visuals by Thaya 
Wearing -
Denim Top - One Teaspoon
Denim Skirt - DIY
Denim Jeans - Pacsun
Denim Choker - MD.13 
Nude Perplex Strappy Heels - Public Desire




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July 17, 2017
There's not a day that goes by that I don't ask myself am I being the best person I can be right now? Did I hurt someone's feelings today? Did I make the ethical right decision? Or, was that a genuine response? And yes, some (or all) of this seems like a stroll away from paranoia. My friend and I have even blamed it being a Libra thing. We constantly find ourselves discussing the endless cycle of self-retrospection, of unreturned ef…










There's not a day that goes by that I don't ask myself am I being the best person I can be right now? Did I hurt someone's feelings today? Did I make the ethical right decision? Or, was that a genuine response? And yes, some (or all) of this seems like a stroll away from paranoia. My friend and I have even blamed it being a Libra thing. We constantly find ourselves discussing the endless cycle of self-retrospection, of unreturned efforts, or oppsies and fuckkkkk, did I do that? Gag. Is that an exclusively millennial thing? Oh, god, here goes the paranoia again.

But think about it, how much of an impact do we make in our everyday life? How much impact do I make in my everyday life? Especially when I am living in one of the largest cities in the world. So large, we’re forced to live on top of each other. Sometimes, I’d just much rather text you than click the green button on your phone call. It’s not personal but I’m really enjoying a solo walk home and I’m lowkey stalking an elderly couple walking down the street together (kills me every time). At events, I walk in and immediately see at least eight people that I’d love to have deep conversations with but that’s impossible, especially when there’s an open bar involved. So then I’m rude to like 6 people out of the 8. While I’m eating, I may or may not be singing a song and dancing to my own tummy tune while you’re talking.  I also have an uncanny act for saying goodbye but taking so long to leave the actual space that we end up walking out together. Or worse, standing in the elevator for 25 floors together. And then saying bye again. Awk. And I make a lot of people uncomfortable. It’s a gift, truly. Also, did I text my mom back today? (She’s going to text me shortly after I post this.) If that isn’t enough, we have the Internet. Where impact extends beyond our spatial limitations. A comment or even a heart can go a long way. It is one emoji or LOL away from bullying or a smile. So is it crazy for me to be concerned with giving the right and most positive impact at all times?

It must be really liberating for people that don't think like that. To not care. To do things without an ounce of empathy for others. It's just you. I envy those people but I also enjoy being person that I am. It comes at a cost but most great things do.


Visuals by Thaya 
Wearing -
Denim Top - One Teaspoon
Denim Skirt - DIY
Denim Jeans - Pacsun
Denim Choker - MD.13 
Nude Perplex Strappy Heels - Public Desire




SaveSave

The Kitty That Looked Like Me | Nylon x Sanrio

July 11, 2017









Growing up, there weren’t too many Asian female characters I could relate to. Actually there wasn't one at all, except perhaps the fictional kitten that went by the name of Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty was, in fact, the Barbie of my childhood. I looked more like her (even though she has ears) than a Barbie doll. She was cute. She was cuddly. She was a bad ass bitch that was relentlessly herself. And she was there for me. On weekends, my mom didn't take my brothers and me to Toys R Us. We went to Asian Food Market or HMart. Our toy store was exclusively in the Asian toy section of the supermarket. It was the only corner that exploded in bubble gum pink or emo brown and black (for Badtz-Maru). As I child I grouped my friends in to two categories— Badtz-Maru vs Hello Kitty. And sometimes one person can suddenly alter from a kind Hello Kitty to a mischievous Badtz-Maru. There was something for everyone including smelly flavored erasers and the cutest planners that were NEVER in English. It was amazing. But Hello Kitty, that girl, was always there with her red bow and cute smile to assure me that the candy package with her face on it was going to be delicious. And guess, what? It was! What made Hello Kitty even cooler was that my white friends loved them too! Finally, we have something we can relate to until we grew into our hard liquor days. Everybody loved her. And it wasn't weird to bring a Hello Kitty lunchbox even though what I had in the lunchbox was not very relatable—rice and soy sauce. I guess you win some and you lose some. As in, I won cause I got some bomb ass rice in my lunchbox while they were eating some boring ass sandwiches!



Visuals by Amina Gingold 
Wearing -
Hello Kitty Bomber Jacket - NYLON x Sanrio
Hello Kitty shorts - NYLON x Sanrio
Growing up, there weren’t too many Asian female characters I could relate to. Actually there wasn't one at all, except perhaps the fictional kitten that went by the name of Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty was, in fact, the Barbie of my childhood. I looked more like her (even though she has ears) than a Barbie doll. She was cute. She was cuddly. She was a bad ass bitch that was relentlessly herself. And she was there for me. On weekends, my mom did…








Growing up, there weren’t too many Asian female characters I could relate to. Actually there wasn't one at all, except perhaps the fictional kitten that went by the name of Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty was, in fact, the Barbie of my childhood. I looked more like her (even though she has ears) than a Barbie doll. She was cute. She was cuddly. She was a bad ass bitch that was relentlessly herself. And she was there for me. On weekends, my mom didn't take my brothers and me to Toys R Us. We went to Asian Food Market or HMart. Our toy store was exclusively in the Asian toy section of the supermarket. It was the only corner that exploded in bubble gum pink or emo brown and black (for Badtz-Maru). As I child I grouped my friends in to two categories— Badtz-Maru vs Hello Kitty. And sometimes one person can suddenly alter from a kind Hello Kitty to a mischievous Badtz-Maru. There was something for everyone including smelly flavored erasers and the cutest planners that were NEVER in English. It was amazing. But Hello Kitty, that girl, was always there with her red bow and cute smile to assure me that the candy package with her face on it was going to be delicious. And guess, what? It was! What made Hello Kitty even cooler was that my white friends loved them too! Finally, we have something we can relate to until we grew into our hard liquor days. Everybody loved her. And it wasn't weird to bring a Hello Kitty lunchbox even though what I had in the lunchbox was not very relatable—rice and soy sauce. I guess you win some and you lose some. As in, I won cause I got some bomb ass rice in my lunchbox while they were eating some boring ass sandwiches!



Visuals by Amina Gingold 
Wearing -
Hello Kitty Bomber Jacket - NYLON x Sanrio
Hello Kitty shorts - NYLON x Sanrio

series of choices

June 29, 2017








I once heard someone say that our lives are made up of a series of choices.

When I was 5, I chose pixi sticks over broccoli, warheads over snickers. and candy canes over candy corns. 
When I was 12, I chose doritos over lays, boys over lunch, and yahoos over soda.
When I was 19, I chose vodka over rum, rap over pop, and cup noodles over… nothing at all.
When I was 25, I chose coke over pepsi, dreams over sell outs, and netflix over GNO.

I don't know what all of this says about me. But writing it down, crafting these thoughts into words, then sentences, and now coherent links of lines, well, it gets me thinking. When exactly did I begin to change? Would I have define myself on my own or do I define myself only through categorical opportunities (the opportunity being when these decisions arise)? I love my 25-year-old self. I love myself harder every single year. And every single year, I know more and more of what I like and what I don't like. I ACTUALLY know what I where I want to eat (most meals) and what I want to to wear (most mornings). There's also a saying that goes something along the lines of "You can't expect change by doing the same thing over and over again." I mean, it all makes sense, right? Lets say you hate who you are today, right now. Or the situation you're in. What if, what if you can change it by just making different decisions. If we are our decisions, than can it be just as easy as that? Tomorrow can be so different.

Visuals by Andrew Morales
Wearing -
Top - Urban Outfitters
Bottom - The Fifth Label

June 29, 2017
I once heard someone say that our lives are made up of a series of choices. When I was 5, I chose pixi sticks over broccoli, warheads over snickers. and candy canes over candy corns.  When I was 12, I chose doritos over lays, boys over lunch, and yahoos over soda. When I was 19, I chose vodka over rum, rap over pop, and cup noodles over… nothing at all. When I was 25, I chose coke over pepsi, dreams over sell outs, and netflix over GNO. I don&#…







I once heard someone say that our lives are made up of a series of choices.

When I was 5, I chose pixi sticks over broccoli, warheads over snickers. and candy canes over candy corns. 
When I was 12, I chose doritos over lays, boys over lunch, and yahoos over soda.
When I was 19, I chose vodka over rum, rap over pop, and cup noodles over… nothing at all.
When I was 25, I chose coke over pepsi, dreams over sell outs, and netflix over GNO.

I don't know what all of this says about me. But writing it down, crafting these thoughts into words, then sentences, and now coherent links of lines, well, it gets me thinking. When exactly did I begin to change? Would I have define myself on my own or do I define myself only through categorical opportunities (the opportunity being when these decisions arise)? I love my 25-year-old self. I love myself harder every single year. And every single year, I know more and more of what I like and what I don't like. I ACTUALLY know what I where I want to eat (most meals) and what I want to to wear (most mornings). There's also a saying that goes something along the lines of "You can't expect change by doing the same thing over and over again." I mean, it all makes sense, right? Lets say you hate who you are today, right now. Or the situation you're in. What if, what if you can change it by just making different decisions. If we are our decisions, than can it be just as easy as that? Tomorrow can be so different.

Visuals by Andrew Morales
Wearing -
Top - Urban Outfitters
Bottom - The Fifth Label

forgive, but never forget

June 22, 2017







How many people in my life are just waiting for me to fail?
How many people never send a text just to see how I’m doing?
How many people think it’s okay to use me intentionally, even unintentionally over and over again?
How many people celebrate me when I succeed but are nowhere to be found when I am struggling?
How many people in my life smile in my face, like my photos, and send me heart shaped DMs but talk hella shit IRL?
How many exist in yours?

The answer is “too many.” One is too many.

But that’s okay.
I’ll send love in every direction, even if it takes a sharp right and hits my hater right in the forehead.  I’ll admit it, they don’t deserve it. But I won’t lower myself to their negative 6 feet standards. Keep digging their own grave because no energy exerted ever goes wasted (positive or negative). I’ll stay above ground, thank you very much. I’ll keep on moving forward. I won’t even put enough effort to remove them from my presence. They’ll see their way out, like they always do.  I won’t internalize it. I can’t. I’ll project it back to you, right where it deserves to be. And I’ll remember every little thing. And I’ll forgive them. Let it go. But I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget each doubt. Each attempt to hit my ego. To use me. To break me. To foul my name. Wolves are pretty, but they’re still wolves.

- never forget




Visuals by Erika 
Wearing -


How many people in my life are just waiting for me to fail? How many people never send a text just to see how I’m doing? How many people think it’s okay to use me intentionally, even unintentionally over and over again? How many people celebrate me when I succeed but are nowhere to be found when I am struggling? How many people in my life smile in my face, like my photos, and send me heart shaped DMs but talk hella shit IRL? How many exist in …






How many people in my life are just waiting for me to fail?
How many people never send a text just to see how I’m doing?
How many people think it’s okay to use me intentionally, even unintentionally over and over again?
How many people celebrate me when I succeed but are nowhere to be found when I am struggling?
How many people in my life smile in my face, like my photos, and send me heart shaped DMs but talk hella shit IRL?
How many exist in yours?

The answer is “too many.” One is too many.

But that’s okay.
I’ll send love in every direction, even if it takes a sharp right and hits my hater right in the forehead.  I’ll admit it, they don’t deserve it. But I won’t lower myself to their negative 6 feet standards. Keep digging their own grave because no energy exerted ever goes wasted (positive or negative). I’ll stay above ground, thank you very much. I’ll keep on moving forward. I won’t even put enough effort to remove them from my presence. They’ll see their way out, like they always do.  I won’t internalize it. I can’t. I’ll project it back to you, right where it deserves to be. And I’ll remember every little thing. And I’ll forgive them. Let it go. But I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget each doubt. Each attempt to hit my ego. To use me. To break me. To foul my name. Wolves are pretty, but they’re still wolves.

- never forget




Visuals by Erika 
Wearing -