This City Holed Me Down



I have moved more than 15 times in my lifetime. I have attended about 8 different grade schools. I have made way more friends than I can ever imagine. I have lost them along the road to a new home. Transition and change have been ingrained in me whether I liked it or not. Moving to New York City, though, feels completely different. Read more on my process of moving to the Big Apple and to find details on this outfit.








Shirt - THREADWORKSHOP // Holed Me Down Skinny - Tobi // Sweater - Zara // Orchard Tortoise Watch - RumbaTime

I have moved more than 15 times in my lifetime. I have attended about 8 different grade schools. I have made way more friends than I can ever imagine. I have lost them along the road to a new home. Transition and change have been ingrained in me whether I liked it or not. It taught me how to be a chameleon and gave me the tools to handle many different scenarios, cultures, and attitudes. New York City is very different from Georgia, North Carolina, and all the other states I've resided in.  I see hope here I never found anywhere else. I see opportunities here that literally keeps me up at night. I see friendships in strangers and sarcastic smiles (just my type of people). I see surprises in every corner. And more than anything, I see myself here.  I can truly say that this move is a milestone because it was a move I decided on my own. It wasn't a decision I was dragged into helplessly at the tender age of 8. I am in my twenties. I am taking my life by the horns. And I am exactly where I want to be. I will appreciate and love every ounce of it, whether I come out alive or broken. 

So on the last Friday of December, my friend and I went soul searching all over the boroughs within and against New York City. Also, uncommonly known as apartment searching. I've been playing with the idea of picking up everything I have built in the suburbs of New Jersey, uprooting, and relocating to the city of dreams. That Friday, we looked. Saturday, we sent in our application. Tuesday, our application was approved. Thursday, we signed our souls away. Saturday, we moved into our blank slate. It has been over a week since I started to make the top floor of this building my home. This entire idea was and is still a daunting one to me. It has now been nine days since I took that huge step. My obsession over the apartment is borderline unhealthy. This is evident in my numerous trips back to New Jersey within seven days. Bridge tolls are not cheap and the trip may not be incredibly long but it is surely exhausting. While my living room is vacant waiting patiently for the couch to arrive and my bedroom is getting several intimate touches, I can't help but still feel empty. Empty because I had to let many things go. I am now entering a new territory with perhaps new rules and players. I have to choose each step before me. "Fill my heart with anything I desire, start over if I like, make changes I always wanted or for no reason..." I changed my space and my mind is changing with it. In essence,  I am in the process of writing a brand new chapter in my personal novel. 

And, I definitely wouldn't be where I am without the support of everyone around me, physically and virtually. 

A sincere thank you. 

For this simple yet not-so-simple outfit, I instantly fell in love with Tobi's Holed Me Down Skinny Jeans. The weather can never be too cold for some good ripped jeans. Right? I just threw on the chunky turtleneck sweater whenever it gets overbearingly chilly. These denim are really a piece of work, stretchy in the right places for that extra slice of pizza, and comfortable. Tobi has the right state of mind for supplying me these bad boys. I'm going to just live in them now. Cue the awkward stares.

Photos by Johnny Utah