Fur Vest - Dumonde Faux Fur (similar) // Leather Jacket - Vintage (similar) // Jogger Pants - Zara // Nude Ribbed Bodysuit - Need Supply (similar) // The Ellis Choker - The Break Vintage // Master Tortoise Shell Booties - Topshop
That's really my PG-rated detour of saying—Fuck you, Winter.
It has been too real. Yes, climate change had made this the warmest winter. Yay for me. Nay for the world as we know it. The Winter temperament has been too close, creepily, awfully too similar to my internal flame. Yes, my internal flame. Generally cold like the hills in Tibet, now add inexplicable bursts of heat a couple days of the month, then a snow storm or two, then heat, then wind, a tornado, and then remorse, self-indictment, which ends in 60 degrees weather.
What the fuck? Am I right?
Yeah, I meant to toss that What the fuck! in a spiral hook to Mother Nature but I forgot I just made a too close for comfort self-analogy. I would be essentially dissing myself. I also don't want to wake up to deers and mice in my bedroom ready to water-board me for messing with the homie—Mother Nature. Something about squirrels and large torture devices that really give me the creeps.
As much as I'm glad Winter is over, maybe there are a couple things I'll miss about it:
1. Hot Delicious LiquidsLattes, Chai lattes, Hot Toddy, a nice cup of Chamomile tea before bed, Spiked Apple Cider, Irish Coffee...Jacuzzi. I don’t think I’m going to give up my homemade spiked apple cider until mid-June. I’m not kidding.
2. A Warm BodyIf you had the (mis)fortune of getting linked up during cuffing season, prepare to break up. Kidding, not really kidding. But at least you had a lot of bunny sex and warm cuddles on the sofa to keep your body temperature leveled. You go, you! [Soft office applaud]
3. The HolidaysBittersweet because now you can spend all the money you earn on yourself, but when you were forced to give, it felt great! That face of your grateful little niece. The face of a dear friend who didn’t expect it all. The faces of your colleagues when you gave the best White Elephant Gag gift ever! Yes, well worth it! And although I would never admit this in public, I do love to see all the beautiful lights that line 6th Ave, hearing Christmas songs for 12 hours a day/5 days a week/right after Thanksgiving, the smell of fresh gingerbread cookies, and the inexplicable and often too-much-to-handle holiday spirit.
What I won't miss:
1. The Low TemperaturesFuck you! And fuck you, snow. You beautifully disguised disaster. There are a ton of songs written about you, yet the sight of you makes me want to instantly build a snowman just so I can punch it to death. You also ruined a couple of my favorite pair of shoes. I don't know if I can ever forgive you.
2. The LayersNor could I even begin to admit nor forgive myself for the amount of money I shelled out for long coats, 50 beanies, 27 scarves, a wall of boots, one too many thick ass scratchy socks. I can now de-layer and be able to rotate my elbows more than 15 degrees. I can’t wait to be able to walk into the Subway and not have someone step on my coat. Sometimes, I would step on my own coat. Yes, yes. That is what I look forward to the most.
3. LazinessI know what you're thinking, what does the Winter have to do with something that common sense would point straight to the person as the source? Well, there are you people and then there are those who totally understand me. I like you. Do I want to go to 5 events to network, smile at people, eat food to be picked up by midget hands, and drink to my oblivion when it's negative 3 degrees out or do I want to go home and sleep? I'm going to choose the latter.
I think it’s safe to say, I’m not going to miss you.
P.S. But don’t worry, I’ll come crawling back in August.